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[scholiast]

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Hi, Lucretia speaking. I'm busy at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message, I'll get back to you ASAP.
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[umbrastaff]

Hmmm, you're right.

[She shrugs again.]

Family works for me. We never had one ourselves, so we obviously picked the best.

[scholiast]

Yeah.

(Family is nice. Lucretia's missed having one.)

Though uh, probably not Barry in your case, huh.

[umbrastaff]

Well, he kinda is family only in a completely different way? Like, we turned to liches together, it seems kinda more than normal marriage.

[Lup grins, looking amused.]

So we have two dads, a little sister and brother, Taako and the weird married couple.

[scholiast]

Are you allowed to call it marriage if none of us were invited to the wedding?

(the disrepect!)

[umbrastaff]

Psh, as if we'd ever have a real marriage thing without you as my maid of honor.

[It feels kinda weird to talk about it, though. Like... it wasn't anything she had ever thought in her youth.

Fuck, she still found it more impossible than this lich shit.

But if...]

[scholiast]

(She chuckles, gaze soft.)

I almost can't imagine you having a 'real marriage thing', but I'm honoured to be hypothetically included.

[umbrastaff]

I know, right? It's like... weird to put a ring on it. Like that would make our love better or something.

[She shrugs, smiling.]

...and while I love him like a fuckton much, I'm not gonna be Lup Bluejeans.

[scholiast]

Lup and Barry BJ.

(Lucretia cannot keep a straight face for even a second. She has to raise a fist to cover her smile)

Wow. It's terrible.

[umbrastaff]

Luce. Luce. That's the worst thing I've ever heard and you can't even mercy kill me.

[Groooooooaaaaaan.]

[scholiast]

Yeah it's a real shame we've had to leave that perk behind, huh.

[umbrastaff]

Definitely. Like, that's the one con of being a lich. No more sweet oblivion after horrible jokes.

[scholiast]

Some of the best jokes we've ever made have involved dying dramatically at the right moment.

Oh well: c'est la vie.

[umbrastaff]

We are so messed up, Luce.

[She chuckles, even if it's far too true.]

I should head on home, Taako will worry.

[scholiast]

Would you have it any other way?

(She grins.) Tell Taako I say hi.

[umbrastaff]

Nope! Never.

...and I will!

[She laughs and throws a kiss in the air before she phases through the door.]