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I walked him to his quarters, and he was talking about how tired he was, how getting old is so difficult because you only live to see more and more of the people you once knew pass away.

"I didn't take the time to appreciate them while I could." Those words stuck with me, even after I left him to get settled in. My first thought was that I ought to see what Wesley was up to.

(Lucretia nods, suddenly contemplative.)

That's really good advice.

(Of sorts. Clearly it hadn't meant to strike a tone with Beverly at the time, but Lucretia's glad that it did, as it appears to bring a bit of comfort to her.)

(Beverly hums her agreement. It's something that comes back to her often, here, especially with Lucretia.)

Dr. Quaice is a wise man. I owe a lot to him.

Have you been thinking of it in regards to your time spent here?

(To enjoy it while she can? That's certainly... forcing a silver lining around the situation.)

I have... just some days are easier than others.

(Today is clearly not one of those days.)

Of course.

(Lucretia gives her back a comforting rub.) I'm... glad, that you don't mind coming to me when you're having not so good ones.

Why wouldn't I?

(Besides anything else they might be to one another, it's undeniable that Lucretia is Beverly's best friend here.)

I don't know. Because I can't fix it?

(She's used to taking things out of other people's hands, taking that weight for them, finding a solution. But she can't do that in this instance. It's strange.)

Some things you can't fix and that's okay. We learn to live with them being broken.

Maybe.

(That's not a very satisfying answer.)

(No, it's not, but it's something she had to learn a long time ago and not just in her personal life. Every doctor has the patient they can't help, can't heal, can't fix. She rubs Lucretia's arm, seeking to reassure her.)</ small>

This isn't on you.

(Lucretia takes a steadying breath. In any case, this isn't the time to pull everything inwards, so she nods after a moment.)

I know.

(She can think more about it later. For now, she settles back against Beverly, and closes her eyes.)

(Curling into Lucretia, Beverly is silent for a minute as she gathers her thoughts together once more, to continue her story. It feels very important to get out, for some reason. She supposes it's because it explains so much about her, about her deep-seated fears about losing the people she loves and worse - forgetting them. Finally, with a soft sigh, she starts again.)

Wesley was down in Engineering, as he often is, working on an experiment. Something to improve the efficiency of the warp drive, if I remember correctly. While he was catching me up on what he was doing, there was a flash from the warp core - something had gone wrong, though it seemed relatively insignificant at the time. Nothing was out of the ordinary until the next morning, when I went to have breakfast with Dr. Quaice and... he wasn't there. No record of him ever having boarded the ship and no one but me seemed to remember him.

But he was only the first. One by one, my crewmates began to disappear.

(Lucretia rubs Beverly's back in absentminded circles with the flat of her palm as she starts to talk again. 'One by one, my crewmates began to disappear'. Her eyes open again immediately. She knows all too well what the loss of a crew feels like, and for it to happen like that...)

That's scary.

(Poor Beverly.) Was the warp core pulling them out of your plane? Did you fix it?

Not exactly. It took me a long time - almost too long - to figure out what was happening.

The worst part is, no one else seemed to find it strange, even s crew numbers got below what we would need to run the ship. Eventually... It was just me and Jean-Luc. Even Wesley had gone. And Jean-Luc thought this was normal, that it had always just been the two of us. He couldn't remember any of them, not his first officer, not his engineer, no one,

And then he was gone too. I was completely alone.

(Lucretia's mouth feels dry when she goes to answer. Imagining this happening to Beverly... it's impossible not to dredge up some of her own unwanted memories in the process.)

How... long were you alone for?

(How horrible that this happened to her, too.)

Not very long... No more than a day. Still I was terrified.

(She nods, and dips her head to kiss Beverly's forehead.)

I'm sorry that happened to you. Are you afraid of it happening again?

A little.

(It feels almost childish to admit.)

Or maybe... it's more I don't want my own fears to get the better of me again. The reason everyone was disappearing... was because of me. That moment when the warp core flashed - I was taken into a pocket universe inside the warp bubble Wesley has created, a universe that was shaped by my own mind.

Your own mind. (It's starting to make sense, now.)

And that was... one of your worst fears? Of losing the people you cherish, having them forgotten by others?

After what happened to my parents and then Jack... it's a fear I've never been able to completely shake.

Of course.

(Lucretia's silent for a moment after that. This strays dangerously close to the things that scare her, too, and she doesn't want to get caught up in that.

She wonders if this applies to her, too. If Beverly is scared to lose her.)

After you realised it was of your own making, did it stop?

(Absolutely that scares her. That's the worst part about all of this - she loses people she cares about whether she stays or goes. Either way will break her heart.)

Well, at the time, I didn't realize I had created it. But I did figure out I was in the warp bubble because the universe itself was collapsing and Wesley was trying to reach me from the real world, so to speak. I had to take a leap of faith and trust that he knew what he was doing.

(She smiles softly.)

Not that it was a hard leap to make. I trust him more than anyone.

Good.

(That makes her smile, despite everything. Even though the idea of Beverly leaving her to return home is such a hard one to think about, she's genuinely comforted by the knowledge that she has something to go back to. Lucretia can rely on that, when she does go, to soothe the ache in her heart.)

That's important. It's– I'm just glad you have him, Beverly.

Me too. I'm very lucky to have such a son.

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