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(This is less stressful for sure, but Lucretia almost prefers him yelling. It's hard to listen to Taako sit and tell her this so plainly. She doesn't look up from her tea cup as guilt curls in her stomach. She doesn't get to choose the way that Taako interacts with her, especially not when it comes to this. If this is the easiest way for him to talk, that should be more than good enough for her.)

I... (she hedges, tired and unsure of what to say,) I mean, you're right, Taako. I know that I've been pushing, because of the holidays. I've been enjoying being with you, and Lup and Magnus again.

(She hasn't had a proper Candlenights for two years. That's nothing on Lup's solitary decade of course, but for her, it's been a long and lonely stretch. That, and when she thinks of having to return to that same isolation sans the insider knowledge she has from Taako, it only makes her want to cling harder to what she has right now.) I... got carried away. I'm sorry.

[It helps, that she doesn't get defensive, that she seems to understand where he's coming from, and he wonders how much of that is because he didn't come into this with sharp insults and petty comments.]

Worst part is I don't think there's a solution to this shit, you know? I don't wanna go back to fighting, but I'm not any kind of ready to forgive you for what you did. I dunno what to do here.

[Maybe her backing off a little will help, but it's still not a complete solution. Maybe there is no complete solution and Sif was right. This is just how things are going to be now.]

Neither.

(She's glad that he seems to get that, that she's at an impasse with where to go from here. The problem is, Lucretia has started to realise that not only is there a quick fix solution to this, there isn't a long term fix either.)

I don't have to come to Candlenights, (she offers lightly. Her hands are twisting together in her lap.) If you want that time to be with Lup, I mean.

[Taako shakes his head almost before Lucretia has finished his sentence.]

That shit's not fair to Lup. She forgave you, and that's like... that's her choice, even I'm not into it. [It's not often that he'll prioritize someone else over his own happiness, but he'll always do it for Lup.] I dunno, you think we can keep things polite or whatever?

[Not friendly, but not unkind.]

Lup would understand if you talked to her.

(Lup might have forgiven her, but she'll always put Taako before Lucretia too. Lucretia doesn't have any doubt that if Taako asked her sincerely if they could have Candlenights without her, Lup would say yes. The problem is getting him to ask.

... She would do it for him, but she can already hear Taako calling her a martyr again. The only solution is to be polite.)

But yes, I... I can do that. (It's not going to pleasant, but she'll try her best.)

Just cause she'd understand it doesn't mean she'd like it.

[Asking Lup is putting her in a shitty position, where she has to choose between Taako and Lucretia and he's-- he's a lot of things, but he doesn't want to be the kind of person who asks someone to make those choices.]

I think, uh, I think now I've gotten this shit off my chest I can play nice, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

(Lucretia sighs, rubbing her neck.)

Sure. I'm sorry that it was bothering you for this long, Taako. For uh, for the record, you can always come to talk to me about this. It's not shit-stirring. I know that how... we are right now is an ever-changing thing and I want to help as much as I can but I can't read your mind, either.

I didn't trust myself not to start shit.

[He says it plainly, that ever-persistent fear about opening up too much eaten away by the effects of the potion.

This is about Lucretia, of course, but it wasn't because of Lucretia that he didn't talk about it.]

(Again, she almost wishes he would yell at her. If he did she could go on the defensive, assuage her guilt. She exhales sharply, frustrated with herself for thinking it.)

Well. Thank you. ... I think.

Thank Rin, I guess. Made it a lot easier to do this shit without all those crappy feelings.

[He's the one that got this conversation to actually happen, even if that wasn't his intention with the potion.]

(Lucretia nods absentmindedly. Even though this has been a perfectly reasonable conversation, she's feeling wigged out by the abnormality of it all.

Her tea has cooled enough for her to drain the cup swiftly.)

Was that all you wanted to talk to me about?

Edited 2017-12-28 12:50 (UTC)

Uh, sure.

[It does feel weird, to have gotten through this without wanting to yell at her or come up with something sharp and petty to say.]

I gotta like, talk to Lup about this. It'd be cool if you didn't say anything to her about it until Candlenights?

(Running away feels very cowardly but Lucretia doesn't know what else to say, so. Hopefully Taako will forgive her that much, at least.)

Of course.

[As someone who's spent his life bailing on uncomfortable situations, he's not going to begrudge her this.]

Thanks for coming over, Lux.

Any time.

(She means it; she'd weather any situation for Taako. She stands, but pauses after collecting her cup to take through to the kitchen with her.)

You're okay?

I'm good, I'm gonna like, listen to some music and take a nap.

[He's just chilling. It's nice. Maybe he'll text Rin later and tell him he's great.]

(Cool. Lucretia gives him a thumbs up, immediately regrets doing it, and rolls her eyes as she turns away. She holds up a hand to him in farewell.)

Talk to you later.

See ya.

[It's weird not to be the one leaving, but he just gets comfy on the couch and rethinks that 'music' thing because going straight to a nap seems great.]

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