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(This sucks she's already had one panic attack today. Bring on round two.)

Yes, I noticed. It happened when I was talking about... about Taako, and Lup.

Right. I don't know if you recall what I said when we were both effected by the Chalice, but... I've got a twin myself. Remus. [ He frowns, thoughtfully. ] Abel, now. He passed away a few years after that — I was twenty then, twenty-four when it happened.

Thing is, he doesn't remember me. Or anything about being alive. [ He's explained Enforcers and ghosts and things, right? ] And by this point, I'm positive it isn't just the trauma that has him blocking things out.

[ He's meeting her gaze now, but his hands are carefully curled up together on the table. Very measured, but at least Cain's rather calm when explaining this. ]

(Oh.

For a moment, her expression crumples and her shoulders droop. She must have caused him quite a lot of pain by telling him that. And so casually, too! Knowing that she hurt him doesn't sit well with her at all, and though she tries to pull herself together, she still looks upset when she finally meets his gaze again.)

You know, it seems all I'm capable of lately is causing trouble for my friends, (she offers, hollowly.)

I'm sorry– I didn't... ('I didn't know' feels like a ridiculous excuse.)

[ He watches her, then exhales soft, slowly. ]

No, that's what I'm getting at. You couldn't have known, and... the people Abel works for. Those Reapers. They're not really people, I guess, they'd probably be insulted if I called them that.

[ He's rambling a little, and he consciously pulls himself back from it. ]

They just wanted to keep us apart, they don't care at all. They hurt us for thousands of years just because they're scared or whatever the case may be. [ They're still hurting them. Hurting Cain. ] But I know you, Lucretia, and you wouldn't do that. You're not the Reapers, you're their family, and I meant what I said. There had to be something else going on.

So, sure, I had a reaction when the similarities stood out more than the differences... but please don't assume that means it's too much to talk about, or that I don't want to, or that I'm angry or anything. You need a friend right now, and I'd like to think I'm not a terrible option.

(Lucretia leans back into her seat, hands leaving her knees to fold tightly, comfortingly across her chest like she's trying to tuck in and make herself smaller. She watches him carefully as he talks, and slowly, but surely, that tight coil of panic trapped in her chest starts to unwind.)

I... (oh, no. Her voice is a little hoarse, and for a horrible moment she thinks she might cry. She pauses, staring hard at the counter.)

Thank you, (she manages eventually,) for saying that. That... that something else might be going on, I mean. (Neither Taako nor Lup seem predisposed to believe that of her. They are, of course, far closer to the heart of her betrayal than Cain is, but they've also known her for longer, and she thought that might have meant a little more to them. It's the worst part of the whole thing, really, the endless questioning of her own character.)

You're not a terrible option, Cain. You're– you've been helpful, more than you know. You're a very good friend to me.

It's the only conclusion I can come to.

[ Even if that "something else" is Lucretia breaking under the pressure of the cycles, there's no way that the person in front of him now is the person who would do those things. Not when she's so torn up, heart and soul, about this betrayal that will eventually come to pass.

That said, he puts his hand out across the table for her to take should she feel like it. ]

You're not so bad a friend yourself.

(Oh no, that makes her tear up, when he holds out his hand to her. Why is he being so nice. She hesitates, then takes it, and it's a touch that it comforting.)

I don't know, (she says, managing a small chuckle even as she's hurriedly wiping her eyes with her free hand,) I wonder, sometimes.

Thank you for telling me about your brother, too. I'm so sorry that happened. (She gives his hand a squeeze.)

Being a friend doesn't mean you don't get into fights, it means you're still there at the end of the day. For me, anyway.

[ Cain's definitely the type who would rather have the time to cool off and talk things out and eventually come back to work on it together. Not everyone is like that but... well, it's his own style. ]

We're still working on it, Abel and I. But... thank you.

I know.

(She sniffs, and wipes her eyes again, mouth curling into a frown.) But I'm so mad at him. It's stupid.

(Lucretia's usually the type to try and talk it out right away, but she had been too angry, too shocked at the time to try.)

What happened?

[ Not necessarily what did he do because that isn't really fair. Their whole situation isn't, really, and he's got a bit of charitability toward Taako for pointing him in this direction right now anyway. ]

(No, what did he do feels pretty appropriate right now. Lucretia gives Cain's hand a grateful squeeze, then takes her hand back so she can fold her arms across her chest again. It's a comfort thing.)

He told Lup, about what happens in the future. With me. And, (she exhales sharply, and stares at the table as she continues,) I don't know, Cain. I get that he can't keep things from her. Neither can I, and I wasn't about to, but he didn't– he could have let me know he was going to do that before he went and threw me under the fucking bus.

(Then she blinks, and one hand pops up to cover her mouth. Language.)

Oh– sorry.

[ That's weirdly endearing, and his face screws up into a complicated smile. Her admission sucks but the backpedaling on cursing makes it unfortunately cute. ]

We're all adults here, it's fine.

Uh, on the subject of the fucking bus, though... that's rough. He definitely should have given you the heads' up.

(Lucretia nods slowly, chewing her lip.)

There's nothing I can do about it now, of course. But I wish he had let me be there. We... we don't have an explanation for any of this, Cain, and now my... my best friend knows that I do this, and how is she supposed to forgive me for it??

(She's got her arms folded tight across herself again, squeezing hard, shoulders hunched. When she speaks next, her voice is tight, distressed.) Taako said she nearly set him on fire.

Personally I don't think it's good to blame someone for something they can't possibly know about... but I also know emotions aren't rational and this isn't a question of whether you will or won't.

[ He purses his lips, one elbow moving to the table, so his hand can prop his head up. ]

Being that upset means you'd probably have to appeal to her emotions before you could get any logic in, and it's difficult because emotions are the problem in the first place. And really, it's not you, right now, that she has to forgive. You haven't actually done this yet, Lucretia.

I know, (she says shakily, and takes a deep, slow breath, holding it for a moment before she releases it.) I just have to keep telling myself that. It's all I have to go on right now.

(She realises how hard she's gripping herself, fingers digging into her arms, and releases her stranglehold.)

You know, I've been thinking about it a lot and... if it came down to their safety, if it was between this, or lose them entirely, I would pick this. Every time. And maybe that's why it happened.

[ Cain doesn't answer right away. What he does is stand up and grab his chair, walking them around the table next to Lucretia before setting himself back down. His arm comes around her shoulder and he gently nudges her to lean against his side; depending on how she receives it, he'll probably tilt his head to rest it on top of hers.

He gives her some time before he speaks. ]

I don't doubt that you'd do whatever you could to protect them, one thing over the other, but there isn't anything you can imagine that would inspire that. Playing what-if just doesn't work here.

(What she likes very much about Cain is that he is an excellent judge of knowing exactly when to stop talking and offer physical comfort instead. The arm around is vastly appreciated, and after a beat Lucretia sighs, and leans against him properly, head tipping to rest against his shoulder.)

You're right, (she says eventually, in a defeated sort of way.

She's not quite got around to his clearly more sensible way of thinking, but at least she's admitting that to herself? It's complicated.)

Just take your time.

[ There isn't much else he can say to it, because sometimes the realization and growth just can't be forced. Getting on the right path is about all he can help someone to do. ]

(She nods, falling silent as she starts to mull all of this over.

It's strange to think that this only really just happened, that an hour or two ago she'd been just coming down off the edge of a panic attack, sick with anger and resent. It's quite a feat, then, for Cain to have brought her back around so quickly.)

You're very good at this.

[ Cain shifts to turn a smile down at her, then rests his chin on the top of her head. Even as long as he's been alive, there's never just one solution to anything and people are the hardest to predict or assess overall. What's worked before might not ever work again. Thankfully not the case here. ]

Well, I've got a lot of practice. Glad I could help, though.

Mmm.

(She kind of doesn't want to talk any more about it, now. She's got a lot to think about. She sighs, content as he leans back on her a little; when she speaks next, her voice is quiet, thoughtful.)

Would you mind telling me about your brother?

[ There's a moment of silence while Cain just breathes. It's not hard for him to talk about Abel, per se, but right now the question reminds him of the tensions currently between them. It reminds him how the blackouts stopped again once he got here. There's something behind that and he doesn't want to examine it too closely. ]

I don't mind. What do you want to know?

What's he like?

(Hopefully that isn't too hard a question for him to answer; Lucretia can tell that it's quite complicated. She finds his hand from where his arm is about her shoulder, and gives it a little reassuring pat.)

[ There's a brief breath of laughter for the pat. ]

Nowadays? He's pretty... well, rigid, but he's strong and kind and even thoughtful sometimes, even if he doesn't realize what he's doing or not. A good dad, and that in and of itself is a hoot.

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