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[scholiast]

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Hi, Lucretia speaking. I'm busy at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message, I'll get back to you ASAP.
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[spellslots]

[The reply doesn't come immediately, because he needs time to think about, but eventually.]

I know

[Maybe that means me too, but he can't bring himself to say that.]

But it's not that easy, I can't just forget

[Not like Lup and Magnus can. Maybe that makes him the asshole here]

[scholiast]

I know, and I'm not asking for you to. I don't begrudge you any of this Taako, not for a second; what I did was unforgivable.

Is it too much for me to wish we could find a middle ground?

[spellslots]

What do you think I've been trying to do, Lux?

[This is his middle ground, even with the occasional tension. It's the best he can give her every day and it's slowly getting better, setbacks notwithstanding, but it's not like he isn't trying.]

[scholiast]

(She's unsure of what to say to that for a calculated moment, because she doesn't like this version of the middle ground at all. Lucretia stares at her phone for a long moment before replying.)

Would it be easier if I left you alone a bit more?

[spellslots]

I dunno.

Some days are easier but then sometimes you say shit and it's like nothing's changed and I remember why you did what you did

[scholiast]

Yeah, that's fair.

(A big sigh.) I feel like I've been talking a lot of shit over the last couple days.

[spellslots]

[There's a lot he could say to that, but he decides to stick to something relatively neutral.]

Yeah?

[It's prompting, if she wants to... talk about whatever she means by this.]

[scholiast]

Yeah.

To you, I mean. I feel like I've been saying a lot of unnecessary crap that you don't deserve. It's been bugging me a lot.

[spellslots]

Then why say it?

[scholiast]

I don't know. Because I'm human, and I get defensive and say things without thinking and then feel badly for it later.

It's not a perfect excuse, obviously, but it's the truth.

[spellslots]

[It's not really an excuse at all, but it's the truth and that helps, a little. This is a very honest conversation, more raw than he's used to, and he really needs a glass of wine.]

I'm fucking tired, Lucretia

[It's not really a response to anything she said, but he's heard it, he just doesn't know what to say. He's sick of feeling angry and hurt but he doesn't know how to stop, and half the time they talk it just seems to make it worse.]

[scholiast]

Same.

(She feels they're at a very similar impasse right now and has no idea how to deal with that either. A very small, awful part of her wishes she could go to him and wrap him in a hug until the tension between them melted clean away.

Would probably have to be a real long hug, huh.)

We'll just... keep taking this one step at a time.

[spellslots]

[Maybe it's a century of living together, of dying together and growing together, but a similar thought occurs to him. Maybe there's no words that fix this, maybe there's nothing that fixes this, but he misses his sister.]

Are you at your place?

[scholiast]

Yep. How come?

[spellslots]

Can I come over?

[scholiast]

(Not to yell, right :( )

Course.

[spellslots]

[Not to yell.

He spends a couple of minutes getting ready (telling Lup where he's going) and then he teleports right into Lucretia's bedroom.]

Scoot over, bubbale.

[This, at least, is familiar.]

[scholiast]

(Woah and he's suddenly right there.

Lucretia scoots over, her face turned away, highly aware that not too long ago a couple of hopeless tears had made themselves apparent while she had been texting him, and she doesn't know if that's obvious from the look of her or not.)

Hey.

[spellslots]

[Fortunately for Lucretia, Taako isn't quite looking at her either, caught somewhere between awkwardness and not wanting to break the own tentative truce he's made with himself.

It's what lets him climb into bed beside her, taking a second to get comfortable before he reaches out to lightly touch her arm, because he's-- he's not sure where she stands, when it comes to physical affection.]

[scholiast]

(Lucretia glances over when he gives her arm a little touch, and hopefully he's all in on this hug thing that's about to happen because Taako's hand on her arm opens up the flood gates.

She turns toward him and reaches out to link her arms about him, neither holding him close or squeezing him tight. Just being in his space, while affording him plenty of room to pull away from her if that's what he prefers. Her chin drops gently onto his shoulder.)

Okay? (The contact, that is. Not... everything between them, obviously.)

[spellslots]

[It feels as though it's been a lifetime since they've done this, but it's so easy at the same time. Taako winds his arms around Lucretia, fingers gripping the back of her shirt because he's missed her and this all hurts so much and he meant what he said, about being tired.]

Yeah...

[If his voice comes out a little tight, he's hoping that she'll have the tact not to say anything.]

[scholiast]

(When he doesn't pull away Lucretia does sink a little more into him with a soft sniff, allowing her expression to crumple over his shoulder. He can't see, so it doesn't count.

In response to the tightness of his voice she smooths her palm in a slow circle against his back. He used to do this for her, after sleepless nights on the ship the cycle after sixty-five left her both exhausted and tearful. It always helped.)

[spellslots]

[It's something about the gesture that does it; something in Taako's chest shudders loose and before he can do anything about it, a quiet sob escapes and he's crying as Lucretia rubs his back.

He's not sure if it's because of this painful tension between them, because of the reminder of Glamorsprings or how much he misses being able to hug Lup, or maybe it's just a combination of the three and whatever else is going on, but he can't seem to stop himself, which means he knows he has to to ride it out.]

[scholiast]

(Oh, no. When he starts to cry in her arms, Lucretia doesn't say anything, doesn't offer words of comfort. For starters, she wouldn't know what to say; and she can tell that this- whatever it is- is fragile, tenuous. Seems like he needs it, though.

So she just holds him, keeps rubbing her hand on his back, nice and easy. It's almost too much in the face of everything that has been going on between them lately, but having him here with her feels like home, always will and she's missed that dreadfully.)

[spellslots]

[Most of the time, when Taako starts crying, his aim is to stop it as quickly as possible, to get it under control, but right now he decides to just let it happen. It takes him a few minutes to wear it himself out, but finally the crying stops and he's left sniffling against Lucretia's shoulder, quickly casting prestidigitation to erase all evidence of the tears.]

Shit, sorry, I wasn't-- uh, that wasn't the plan here.

[He didn't turn up just to cry on her.]