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[scholiast]

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Hi, Lucretia speaking. I'm busy at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message, I'll get back to you ASAP.
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[umbrastaff]

Duly noted.

[She gives Lucretia a ghostly thumbs up - and then prods back with mage hand, because she's such an adult.]

Okay, that's fair. At least you're not stuck on a small ship with your bae.

[Please stop teaching her modern words.]

[scholiast]

(Bae... as in 'Baeverly', or...???? If true, it is extremely bad.)

Mmmm... (Lucretia hums, frowning.) Three out of ten. I've heard worse from you.

[umbrastaff]

[Lucretia plz.]

That wasn't even a dig! Shit, that's the worst score I've ever had!

[scholiast]

Wasn't it?

(She chuckles.) I just said that you've had worse, dummy. You can come back from a three, I believe in you.

[umbrastaff]

True, I can't help that our chronicler isn't up to date with the new lingo!

[She grins and whips up her phone with mage hand to show Lucretia Riverview's version of Urban Dictionary.]

[scholiast]

(She sticks her tongue out at Lup, then takes the phone to scroll through the definition, her brow furrowed.)

Oh. Okay.

(She sighs, and hands it back.) She's– I mean, she's not my bae, Lup. If it truly does stand for 'before anyone else', then you are my bae. All of you are. You are all my baes.

[umbrastaff]

Shit, Luce. You're gonna make me cry from sappiness.

[Her smile softens.]

I think we're kinda in a group of our own, right? Baeeftipre. Before anyone else except for the IPRE.

[scholiast]

Eugh, don't cry.

(She's smiling though, pleased with herself.)

Yeah, I know what you mean. I... it's a hard thing to explain. The connection, I mean.

[umbrastaff]

I will cry ghost tears on your face, Luce. Don't tempt me!

[Lup floats closer, but instead she just 'leans' to Lucretia.]

Family is one, but it's more? Soulmates is a good word.

[scholiast]

Soulmates feels... (she gestures vaguely, then makes a face,) romantic, I guess?

I know it can be platonic, but I've always associated it with romance novels.

[umbrastaff]

Hmmm, you're right.

[She shrugs again.]

Family works for me. We never had one ourselves, so we obviously picked the best.

[scholiast]

Yeah.

(Family is nice. Lucretia's missed having one.)

Though uh, probably not Barry in your case, huh.

[umbrastaff]

Well, he kinda is family only in a completely different way? Like, we turned to liches together, it seems kinda more than normal marriage.

[Lup grins, looking amused.]

So we have two dads, a little sister and brother, Taako and the weird married couple.

[scholiast]

Are you allowed to call it marriage if none of us were invited to the wedding?

(the disrepect!)

[umbrastaff]

Psh, as if we'd ever have a real marriage thing without you as my maid of honor.

[It feels kinda weird to talk about it, though. Like... it wasn't anything she had ever thought in her youth.

Fuck, she still found it more impossible than this lich shit.

But if...]

[scholiast]

(She chuckles, gaze soft.)

I almost can't imagine you having a 'real marriage thing', but I'm honoured to be hypothetically included.

[umbrastaff]

I know, right? It's like... weird to put a ring on it. Like that would make our love better or something.

[She shrugs, smiling.]

...and while I love him like a fuckton much, I'm not gonna be Lup Bluejeans.

[scholiast]

Lup and Barry BJ.

(Lucretia cannot keep a straight face for even a second. She has to raise a fist to cover her smile)

Wow. It's terrible.

[umbrastaff]

Luce. Luce. That's the worst thing I've ever heard and you can't even mercy kill me.

[Groooooooaaaaaan.]

[scholiast]

Yeah it's a real shame we've had to leave that perk behind, huh.

[umbrastaff]

Definitely. Like, that's the one con of being a lich. No more sweet oblivion after horrible jokes.

[scholiast]

Some of the best jokes we've ever made have involved dying dramatically at the right moment.

Oh well: c'est la vie.

[umbrastaff]

We are so messed up, Luce.

[She chuckles, even if it's far too true.]

I should head on home, Taako will worry.

[scholiast]

Would you have it any other way?

(She grins.) Tell Taako I say hi.

[umbrastaff]

Nope! Never.

...and I will!

[She laughs and throws a kiss in the air before she phases through the door.]