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[scholiast]

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Hi, Lucretia speaking. I'm busy at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message, I'll get back to you ASAP.
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Comments

[scholiast]

Here it goes! I am throwing it in now goodbye

@chronicler is offline, forever

[spellslots]

We're definitely not doing oral, I'm not that into teeth on my dick

[scholiast]

@chronicler can't come to the phone right now or ever again because she is being profusely and utterly sick. Please leave a message after the beep unless your name is Taako in which case leave a message never, good day

[spellslots]

What do you think a skeleton handjob would feel like 🤔🤔🤔

[scholiast]

attachment 043.png

[spellslots]

[He spends like a solid minute laughing]

I guess rim jobs are definitely outta the picture too, fucking shame

[scholiast]

I swear to Istus, Taako

[spellslots]

You can't swear to my goddess

[Has he ever mentioned that???]

[scholiast]

(no, what)

Your
sorry, what? Since when have you had a goddess?

[spellslots]

Oh shit lol
I'm an emissary of Istus since like four months before coming here? In that town where Magnus left the chalice and it got all fucked up

[scholiast]

(Of all the things she had been expecting, this hadn't been anywhere near her list.

It takes her a minute to reply.)

As in you were selected personally? By Istus. The Istus.

Why?

[spellslots]

You've met us, right? Like that thing where we spent nearly a hundred years in a fucked up cycle of dying and then we saved all of reality? That thing we did?

[scholiast]

Sure, but we're all, like, goofballs.

[spellslots]

And yet, saved like everything ever?

[scholiast]

Sure. But I haven't saved anything yet, so

[spellslots]

She's Istus

[scholiast]

Fair.

Have you spoken with her, then? What... what's she like?

[spellslots]

Nice? Scary? If she was a dude I would've been into her

[scholiast]

(If they were talking about anybody other than a literal goddess she'd call him on those conflicting statements but as is, she understands.)

I suppose we should be thankful, then, that you let your affections lie with a skeleton rather than pursuing a god of any description.

[spellslots]

You think I couldn't fuck a god if I wanted

[scholiast]

I don't doubt you for a second, I'm just wondering if it's even possible.

[spellslots]

Oh no I'd totally die

[scholiast]

But it'd be worth it, right.

[spellslots]

You didn't put a question mark there so I'm gonna assume you're just agreeing with me and stating the obvious on that point

[scholiast]

Or the question mark got lost in the mail. Who can say for sure?